More to come..

Just one pic after the duck race...more to come!!!

Jillian Grace Duck Race Fan Page

Check out our Facebook Fan Page for Info on the 2nd Annual Jillian Grace Duck Race!!


JILLIAN GRACE DUCK RACE FACEBOOK PAGE

Jillian Grace Duck Race Shirts

The duck race is next weekend, shirts are done and lots of ducks are sold!! A great way to honor our baby girl!!

Happy Heavenly Birthday

Our sweet Baby Jillian celebrated her 2nd birthday this month in Heaven. So hard to believe it has been 2 years already, and then at the same time, I think how much have happened in the last 2 years, that is seems like she was born so long ago.

I can say we are all in a good place right now. Obviously Jillian is still very much a part of our family, and always will be. I can't wait until Brylie is old enough to understand, and know the meaning behind her middle name, etc. Ellie and Malia ALWAYS talk about Jillian, they talk about her as is she is here with us, she just comes up in normal conversation, and I love how honest and open they are about her, and not a day goes by that Jillian is not brought up....like driving in the car and Ellie will say, "Hey Mom, if Jillian was here, where which seat would she be in?" or when the girls are being overly crazy, she will say "Just think if Jillian was here, how would you handle all 4 of us?!" I love that we can talk about her and not always feel sad.


This year for her 2nd birthday, we planned the same as we did last year. I ordered PINK AND GREEN cookies, we released PINK AND GREEN balloons, and all wore our Jillian shirts to the cemetery for a little party.

After Jillian passed away, I put all of her special things in her chest that we received from Doug and Teresa. Since then, none of us have opened the chest. Well, the night of her 2nd birthday, we decided to open it and look at all her things. That was certainly just as hard as I had imagined it would be. Holding her little clothes instantly brought tears to my eyes. They are so tiny and still have stains on them, from her spitting up, and a stain on her hat from her "owie." But it also felt good to look through everything again...all the things people had given us, the cards, the card boxes....so much love in that little chest!
We are going to make it a tradition, to open it every year on her birthday. :)

Here are some of her special things. We are grateful for a private cemetery that allows us to keep special things at her grave.

Our family

The cookies were PERFECT! I asked for pink and green flowers and butterflies, and that is just what I got! Not to mention they tasted so yummy too!!

The 22 pink and green balloons. We all write messages on each balloon, and each balloon represents each hour she was with us on Earth.

We are so blessed with such a fabulous support system! Thanks to everyone who came to celebrate Jillian with us. She is very much loved!

Another special gift!

Happy Heavenly 2nd Birthday Baby Jillian!

For Jillian...

The First Annual Jillian Grace Duck Race was a huge success! Check out this press update on the hospital website!

HORN MEMORIAL HOSPITAL

Jillian Grace Duck Race

Check out the blog I have set up for the Jillian Grace Duck Race we are hosting, as a way to raise money and give back to our local hospital, in honor of Baby Jillian!

Jillian Grace Duck Race

Perfect

19 Months

Wow. 19 Months already since Jillian's birth.

Valentine's Day might never really feel the same again. 2 years ago we found out about Jillian's fatal condition, just the day before Valentine's Day. I think I now associate this day with her diagnosis, it just isn't the same anymore. Coincidentally, today is also 19 months since her birth.

I felt like I needed a "Jillian Post!" It had been awhile, I get to blog about the other girls all the time, it was Jillian's turn.

I know we cherish the moments we had with her and still think about her often. We wonder what she would look like now, what she would be doing, saying, eating, what her laugh would be like and I am sure her smile would light up a room!

I LOVE how Ellie and Malia bring Jillian up AT LEAST once every single day. She is ALWAYS included in their cute little family drawings, and whenever Ellie writes the members of our family, she NEVER leaves her out. I love that.

I also think what a blessing Brylie is and as Ellie said to me the other day..."Mom, Jillian did such a good job sending Brylie to us."

Love this one soon after she was born....she is smiling and trying to find her thumb! :)

First Year

We have made it through, what we have been told, is the hardest year...the first. Making it through the first Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, etc....without her. It has been a tough year, and not a day goes by that we don't think of Jillian, or wish she was here with us, but what keeps up going is knowing we will get to see her again one day!

My plan was to blog about Jillian until her first birthday, and then I was going to print her blog so I would have it forever to look at, and read about all the feelings I had during her time in my belly, the 22 hours she was with us, and the year following her death. That was my plan, until I got a package in the mail today, opened it up, and it was a printed book of Jillian's blog! I instantly started crying when I saw her little face on the front of the book! My friend Candi had told me to be expecting a gift in the mail, but I had no idea this is what it would be!!!!!!!!! I was beyond happy when I opened this!

I know I say it all the time, but I don't know how we would have gotten through the last couple years without the wonderful support of our A M A Z I N G friends and family! I don't feel like I can even thank everyone enough---but really and truly we are so thankful for all of you! It's not about the gifts either....yes, they are wonderful, and we have gifts all over our house that have been given to us from friends and family, and all of it being very special to us. It's also the continued cards, and phone calls, and e-mails to tell us they are thinking of us...still even a year later! I have NEVER felt alone or abandoned, as I know other families have endured. I can only hope that I am and can be as good of friend as mine have been to me(which is a high standard!!)

So THANK YOU CANDI for this amazing gift you have given us, and to all our friends and family(you know who you are!!!!) for your continued love and support. I am so glad we were able to introduce Jillian to all of you, either in person, or through pictures or video on our blog. She was one amazing little girl and I look forward to the day our family is all reunited again!

(We received a plaque with this quote on it that sits in our bedroom with Jillian's picture...I thought I would share....

The Broken Chain
We little knew that morning that
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
in death we do the same.
It broke our hearts to lose you,
you did not go alone,
For part of us went with you,
the day God called you home.
You left us peaceful memories,
your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you,
your always at our side.
Our family chain is broken,
and nothing seems the same,
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.

I took a few pictures of Jillian's Blog Book! We will certainly cherish this FOREVER!

Sisters are Forever Friends

Yesterday Malia brought home a pink balloon from the birthday party she went to. The girls have been playing with it, and then I heard Ellie ask Malia if they should send Jillian a message? They asked me if they could write a message and let it go.... Ellie says:"It doesn't have to be Jillian's birthday to send a message, does it?" Of course I let them write a message and release the balloon. After letting the balloon go, Malia says, "Mom, how do we get to Heaven, can we drive there in a car?" If it was only that easy we'd fuel up and be on our way in a heartbeat! :)

Jillian is ALWAYS on our minds and in our hearts, and it makes me thrilled to know the girls still think of Jillian all the time too, I hope the memories never fade.

Once a sister....always a sister....no matter what!!

The "Party"

Despite the weather, we had a really nice little "party" for Jillian tonight at the cemetery. We had planned to meet at 6:15, for a balloon release and cupcakes. It was questionable all day if we would be able to, since we were severe weather watches, and when we got there, it was getting very dark and cloudy, like it could start storming any minute! Not to mention the heat index was 106 today and SO HUMID! We got all the balloons handed out, some of us wrote notes on the balloons, or attached notes, then we all sang Happy Birthday to Jillian...and let our balloons go! It was so neat to see all the pink and green balloons! We got 22 balloons.....each one representing each hour she was with us 1 year ago!

And of course, I had to make pink and green cupcakes!!!

As soon as we got the cupcakes eaten and to our cars, it started to sprinkle...this was the sky as I was headed home! Luckily it held off long enough for us to celebrate. I felt like there was so much more I wanted to do...but couldn't since she isn't here. I always throw parties for all my girls, and sometimes go overboard, so I feel like I did the best I could for Jillian.....but it just doesn't feel like enough. That must be the "mom" in me.....you just want to do the best for your kids....I hope she knew I put a lot of thought and love into the details!!!!!

The girls gave their Jillian bears extra hugs today!

We even got a couple very nice gifts from some friends and family! I LOVE how my sister wrapped this one in pink and green and wrote Jillian's name on it!!!!!!

Here are a few gifts we received----we can't THANK YOU enough for thinking of us and Jillian!! We also received a couple really nice cards, e-mails, etc! It means SO MUCH!!!!! Also thanks to everyone that was able to join us tonight and those that couldn't be with us---I know you were thinking of us!!!!

Tonight before tucking the girls into bed, we all picked a cupcake and a candle, and sang Happy Birthday again, and we all made a wish and blew out the candles!

As hard as today was, it feels good to know we celebrated just for her! I know she was only with us for a short time on Earth, but she is forever in our hearts!!

WE LOVE YOU BABY JILLIAN!!!!