Here is another favorite I wanted to share----this was taken minutes after Jillian was born----she looks so happy and smiling!
I tell ya, I thought each day was suppose to get easier, but it sure isn't, I think it is opposite for me. It's tough---but just look at that little face.
Whenever I think about Jillian or talk about her to people that is the one thing that I always have to say, is that she was ALWAYS smiling!! She knew the whole time how much we all loved her and she was loving each and everyone of us back:) She is too perfect:) We love her and miss her so so so much!!! I also have to agree with you on it getting harder!! I thought I was ok with it as much as possible at first, but as the days go by the more I find myself taking it harder and thinking about you and adam and the girls!! My heart breaks everyday, even if I may not have shown it in the past month:) WE LOVE YOU ALL VERY VERY MUCH!!!!
I think she was happy and smiling because she knew she was surrounded by her whole family that loved her so much.....very cute picture. XXOO Mom and Dad Lansink
She is an adorable child, that is all I can say! She smiled and blew bubbles and you could tell she was VERY VERY content to be surrounded by her loved ones..... I think about her everyday and I look at her pictures everyday. Some days it comforing, and some days it's just HARD!! Love you all!!!
Oh sweet friend, I understand. Right after Isaac was born, it's almost like adrenaline took over, and did for the next few days. I ran some errands, I took care of the kids, took photos, bought Easter clothes for them - - but it was after. After the days came and went and when the house was quiet and the true reality set in that my heart truly began to ache. The sadness came to my quickly, and has stayed ever since. Now there has been time to fully feel my loss, to see where Isaac is missing in our home. No sleep aides, no xanax to get through the funeral - - just me and my grief, and my heart that longs for my boy.
Sorry this response is coming late...I haven't checked your blog for a week, sorry (it doesn't come up on my auto blogger dashboard).
I just wanted to tell you that I was just thinking about how at first it totally stinks but you are numb and don't FEEL it all. Then as the weeks pass, it gets worse...much worse.
Then you try and tackle all of the firsts and all of the holidays (leading up to Halloween was REALLY rough for me). Then after you pass the 1 year mark, you can FINALLY say that you are in a better place now than you were last year. That was such a relief for me to be able to say that and feel that. Throughout the first year I kept reflecting back to where I was a year ago and how much I wish that I could go back. Now that I'm through that first year I would never want to go back to it. I'm in a much better place now and can see how much I've healed.
Please feel free to email me if you need a shoulder -- I'm here and waiting!!!
10 comments:
what a sweet smile!! love it:)
Whenever I think about Jillian or talk about her to people that is the one thing that I always have to say, is that she was ALWAYS smiling!! She knew the whole time how much we all loved her and she was loving each and everyone of us back:) She is too perfect:) We love her and miss her so so so much!!!
I also have to agree with you on it getting harder!! I thought I was ok with it as much as possible at first, but as the days go by the more I find myself taking it harder and thinking about you and adam and the girls!! My heart breaks everyday, even if I may not have shown it in the past month:)
WE LOVE YOU ALL VERY VERY MUCH!!!!
I think she was happy and smiling because she knew she was surrounded by her whole family that loved her so much.....very cute picture. XXOO Mom and Dad Lansink
Love the smile=)
*H U G S*
She is an adorable child, that is all I can say! She smiled and blew bubbles and you could tell she was VERY VERY content to be surrounded by her loved ones.....
I think about her everyday and I look at her pictures everyday. Some days it comforing, and some days it's just HARD!! Love you all!!!
She is so special and I love her little smile. So precious!! It sure is tough and we're all here for you if you need a leg to stand on.
Oh sweet friend, I understand. Right after Isaac was born, it's almost like adrenaline took over, and did for the next few days. I ran some errands, I took care of the kids, took photos, bought Easter clothes for them - - but it was after. After the days came and went and when the house was quiet and the true reality set in that my heart truly began to ache. The sadness came to my quickly, and has stayed ever since. Now there has been time to fully feel my loss, to see where Isaac is missing in our home. No sleep aides, no xanax to get through the funeral - - just me and my grief, and my heart that longs for my boy.
And let me gush.....
Could Jillian be any more cute!!! I think NOT! She's a doll.
She really is a doll! I love that picture of her smiling - captured perfectly!
I think of you guys all the time - I hate that you guys are having to go through this. She truly is an angel!
Jodi-
Sorry this response is coming late...I haven't checked your blog for a week, sorry (it doesn't come up on my auto blogger dashboard).
I just wanted to tell you that I was just thinking about how at first it totally stinks but you are numb and don't FEEL it all. Then as the weeks pass, it gets worse...much worse.
Then you try and tackle all of the firsts and all of the holidays (leading up to Halloween was REALLY rough for me). Then after you pass the 1 year mark, you can FINALLY say that you are in a better place now than you were last year. That was such a relief for me to be able to say that and feel that. Throughout the first year I kept reflecting back to where I was a year ago and how much I wish that I could go back. Now that I'm through that first year I would never want to go back to it. I'm in a much better place now and can see how much I've healed.
Please feel free to email me if you need a shoulder -- I'm here and waiting!!!
Hugs!
Trisha
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