I can say we are all in a good place right now. Obviously Jillian is still very much a part of our family, and always will be. I can't wait until Brylie is old enough to understand, and know the meaning behind her middle name, etc. Ellie and Malia ALWAYS talk about Jillian, they talk about her as is she is here with us, she just comes up in normal conversation, and I love how honest and open they are about her, and not a day goes by that Jillian is not brought up....like driving in the car and Ellie will say, "Hey Mom, if Jillian was here, where which seat would she be in?" or when the girls are being overly crazy, she will say "Just think if Jillian was here, how would you handle all 4 of us?!" I love that we can talk about her and not always feel sad.
This year for her 2nd birthday, we planned the same as we did last year. I ordered PINK AND GREEN cookies, we released PINK AND GREEN balloons, and all wore our Jillian shirts to the cemetery for a little party.
After Jillian passed away, I put all of her special things in her chest that we received from Doug and Teresa. Since then, none of us have opened the chest. Well, the night of her 2nd birthday, we decided to open it and look at all her things. That was certainly just as hard as I had imagined it would be. Holding her little clothes instantly brought tears to my eyes. They are so tiny and still have stains on them, from her spitting up, and a stain on her hat from her "owie." But it also felt good to look through everything again...all the things people had given us, the cards, the card boxes....so much love in that little chest!
We are going to make it a tradition, to open it every year on her birthday. :)
Here are some of her special things. We are grateful for a private cemetery that allows us to keep special things at her grave.
The cookies were PERFECT! I asked for pink and green flowers and butterflies, and that is just what I got! Not to mention they tasted so yummy too!!
The 22 pink and green balloons. We all write messages on each balloon, and each balloon represents each hour she was with us on Earth.