Yesterday after church, Father told us he had a gift for us. He had been on a mission trip in Arizona a couple weeks ago, right after we had prayed with him about Jillian, and brought back this beautiful shawl that someone had made for us. It came with a little card attached, and was made with a lot of hope and love. We were very grateful, and I will be wrapping up in it as much as I can!!!!!
With Easter this weekend, I thought A LOT about Jillian. Moments would hit while watching all the kids, that next Easter, she probably won't be with us, and I just so wish she could, so I found myself fighting back the tears. I also thought about getting her an Easter basket, as this is probably the only Easter she will "be with us," so thought about celebrating that, but for some reason I just didn't. Now I wish I would have.....and gotten some pictures of "me and Jillian" or a family picture for memories----but again, for some reason, I guess we didn't.
4 comments:
What a lovely blanket! How nice of Father to bring that back for you!
The shawl is very beautiful. How thoughtful! You don't have to fight back tears. Let them flow freely. This past weekend was hard for me as Sat was 2 weeks since Carleigh's birth. Sat after I put my daughter Kyndra to bed I snuggled with Carleigh's fuzzy pink blanket and just cried. I even slept with it that night. My mood the whole weekend was just not a happy one. There will be good days and bad days but God is with you through them all and He will carry you during the difficult times that you can't walk yourself. It's not too late to still get her an Easter basket and take a picture. So if that is something you really want to do then do it! Several of us anen mommies have gotten maternity pictures done. Are you considering doing this? I know mine and Celia's were done by our NILMDTS photographers for free.
I wanted to let you know pretty much the same thing Holly said. It's not too late! Include Jillian as much as you can if you feel led to. We did get Noah a basket and though it did feel kind of funny and the basket was not full of the things that would normally fill it, it felt good to include Noah. This was the only holiday that we have done this with. If you can, try to get pictures to remember this journey. I know myself personally I want as much as I can collect to remember this by. The pictures, the mementos, anything. Consider contacting Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep. They offer such a wonderful service to mothers in our situation. Also, consider contacting a 4D ultrasound facility. We did and were able to get a scan for free. Also, the owner gave us a heartbeat bear that I know I will cherish forever.
Use the time that Jillian is safe inside your tummy to collect things that you might consider treasures to look back on later. I know this is a hard thing to think about. If you ever have any questions or just need to know someone who understands your pain, feel free to contact me by email: ctbarnes@ctc.net
Again, I know this is hard. But know that Holly and I and other moms who are traveling this road are here for you in anyway that we can be. You are in my prayers.
The shawl is beautiful and very nice of Father to bring back for you. I'm sure this was a very difficult holiday knowing what the future is going to bring.
We always include you and your family in our prayers every night but especially did this Sunday.
Love ~
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