Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Enjoy this moment...

Yesterday we had our maternity photo shoot and I am SO EXCITED to get to see them---I saw a preview on the camera, and they looked amazing, should be able to view them in the next couple days.....but while I was there, I was in the changing room, and on the vanity was a plate with a vinyl quote I had made a year ago when they were doing some decorating, and the plate reads,

Enjoy this moment, for this moment is your life...

I read that and realized that is a prefect saying for our life right now. I didn't need to be sad during our session, because at the moment we were taking pictures, Jillian was doing fine, and kicking like crazy, so I guess I was just enjoying that, instead of being sad about what is about to come. That as sad as all of this is, and how mad I could be, I guess until Jillian is actually here and we are forced to deal with the reality of it all, we have chosen to live in the NOW and enjoy each day....how ironic I was the one that made the plate, and seeing it again, it really said a lot about us right now.

I think this whole situation has taught me a lot about myself, a lot about other people, a lot about how I view things. I say it all the time...but I just think it would have been a big waste of our time, to lay around and cry the last few months, and yes, some days I did, or some days I wanted to, but thought, how would that be celebrating the time we have now? I can be selfish and say I SO BADLY want Jillian to live and grow with our family, but with that said, I can't help but feel so blessed at the same time. I watch a lot of news shows, and court tv shows, and hear so many heart wrenching stories of little children that are abused, murdered, or missing...and I think those are the moms that have to be desperately hurting so badly, that when they go to bed at night, might now know where their child is, or have to visualize a tragic death....and I won't have to do that. I will get to know she didn't suffer, she won't be hurt...that in her short life, all she will know is love by all her family around her, and that she is resting in a wonderful place. I guess that is how I have chosen to look at all this right now....

...now in a couple weeks I might have a completely different view, and I know I will be terribly sad and probably mad and wonder why---but in the back of my mind, I am positive we will find peace in all of this.

Here is a picture of the plate----taken a year ago, who knew it would have so much meaning to me now?


On another note----we have our last visit with Dr. Levine tomorrow in Omaha. I am really hoping to get some more 3D pictures of litte Jillian, and also hoping for an estimated weight on her. I will post more after our visit. I also had a routine visit this week with Dr. Veltri, and everything is the same, I have still not gained any weight, and in fact of lost 5 pounds since the day I found out I was pregnant----and I am 36 weeks but was measuring 34 weeks, which is fine, but that is why I am wanting to know a weight on Jillian...makes me think she might be really small? Guess we will find out tomorrow.

More after our visit tomorrow---and as always, keep us in your prayers.

6 comments:

Holly said...

Oh, I hope you post some maternity pics because I would love to see them! I bet they are soooo good! That quote is so true and it really does apply. (And the plate is awesome-you are so crafty!) Just take each moment and enjoy it. I am glad you enjoyed your maternity session. I know I had fun doing ours. Did you get some family shots and just of the girls too?

I think it's really great that you are making the most of your time that you have with Jillian and not feeling sorry for yourself. I think blessed is a good word. I hope in a few weeks when Jillian is here even among the sadness you can still find joy. I believe you will have that peace.

I hope your visit goes well and you can get some more US pics. Love those!! It's hard to estimate a weight since you can't really get any head measurements but maybe they can get somewhat guess with her abd circumfernece and the humerus and/or femur length. I can't remember off the top of my head what we estimated Carleigh's weight was at her last US or if we even were able to get it at all. 2 weeks isn't bad to be measuring behind. I believe they still consider that normal.

You're still in my prayers as always.

grandma-grandpa-lansink said...

Jodi...I think you have a very good outlook for the next couple of weeks. You could be sad.... and you will be......but we can turn around and see all you and Adam have to be thankful for. Hope everything goes well in Omaha today.As always you are in our thoughts and prayers. Love you lots. XXOO Mom and Dad Lansink

grandma-grandpa-lansink said...

Can't wait to see the pictures!!!

Chris, Abby, Ayden, Elliott & Ashley said...

How wonderful that you are in such a great place right now! I hope that through all of this we can all remain positive and enjoy the blessings that God has given us!

Holly said...

Ok I checked. lol At Carleigh's last US she was estimated to be 4 lbs 13 oz +/- 13 oz and she ended up being 3 lbs 15 oz.

Candi Ladwig said...

okay.... bawling right now!! I am so glad you are thinking like this... enjoy this time with her kicks... and the time you will have with her, although some of the saddest days are ahead of you, live the happiest days while you have them!

HUGS... Candi :)